Thoughts on Trials

Today while I was exercising (I have a lot of deep thoughts while I'm exercising), I was thinking about the pain and suffering that life sometimes brings with it. Throughout my life, there have been numerous times when I have felt alone or wronged or just plain miserable. During those times, I always found a way to blame others for the way I felt. If I couldn't, then I would find something that was wrong with me so I could blame it on that.
Later in life, I realized I didn't want to feel like that anymore. I sought out different kinds of therapy, all of which taught me that it's okay to be sad. It's okay to allow yourself to feel pain. You have to feel the pain in order to heal. And this is how I've lived for several years, and it has worked for me.
Today, however, I had this moment of clarity where I thought, "what if this is good, but it's the hard way?" I think it's perfectly fine to allow yourself to have emotions and to respect them, but sometimes that just hurts so much. I think that the most important thing I've learned from allowing myself to hurt is that I don't want to do it anymore. I just want to move on. I want to be in a place where when the storms of life are raging, I can be calm. I want to see life for what it is -- a huge testing ground where we can learn to focus on the things that really matter. I'm not saying I'll never get mad or never be hurt, but I'm going to change the way I respond, because my response is really all I can control. So, when these rough times happen, I'm going to start thinking of these trials as a test from Heavenly Father. How do I want Him to see me react? I think that's what will bring me peaceful days and a lot more love in my heart.